10 Things I wish I knew in High School

In no particular order:

1) I didn't really enjoy my life. I wish I had tried to imagine how hard it would be to always be responsible and accountable. Even when I was having a great time, I was always wishing that I was the next step ahead, getting a driver's license, getting a job, etc. I wish I had lived in those moments.

2) I had no idea how smart and pretty I was. I was horribly shy, even with girls, always thinking I couldn't possibly measure up. I had a brief chubby period when I was 15 and from then on, I always felt "fat" even when I wasn't.

3) I wish I had ignored the existence of boys. I had a few that were nice and plenty that really liked me, but I wasn't dating for my own reasons, just because I was asked. There were so many guys and almost none of them had any impact on my life. Pretty much a waste of time and a distraction.

4) I wish I had stuck with my guitar lessons. I only took one year and I didn't come away with any permanent "skills." It would be nice to be able to pick it up when I wanted to and play something basic, even campfire songs!

5) I wish I hadn't lost my first two diaries. Sometime between 15 and 17, they were gone. There weren't many entries, but I would love to have them now! I wish I had known how important they would be to me someday.

6) I wish I had been confident enough to stay in the college prep school I was in instead of transferring to the local public high school. Even with mediocre grades, I may have somehow ended up in college if I had instead of working until I got married and had kids.

7) I wish I hadn't idealized rock stars; it led to hanging around the guys who were in bands, and while often entertaining, it was a dead-end. Some of those guys were truly talented, but not a single one ended up in the music industry and lots were hooked on drugs before they made it to adulthood. I think I have already lost some hearing due in no small part to all the concerts and from sitting 10 feet from all their amps. I totally didn't fit in anyway, being a virgin and a non-smoker and all that "uncool" stuff.

8) I wish I had spent more time with my sister. Even though she was younger, she was much smarter than me and basically, did all the stuff that I wish I had done in high school and didn't do all the stupid things I did. I wish I had paid attention to her, I might have learned a few things.

9) I wish I had been able to "listen" to myself. There were some pivotal moments, when I knew I was going in the wrong direction, but went ahead anyway because I was afraid to admit to anyone that I was making a mistake.

10) I wish I had known how BADLY a perm would ruin my hair. I don't know what happened, but my best friend talked me into a perm when I was a freshman and what was once healthy, shiny slightly wavy hair was NEVER the same again. That stupid perm was a tight as a poodle for over SIX MONTHS! I don't know what kind of chemical crap her mom put on my hair, but it was just awful.